


questions

by itsemomamoru



Series: levi x gender neutral!reader [4]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 18+, Confused Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Levi's first time, NSFW, Not Beta Read, Other, Reader sleeps around, Sexual Tension, Smut, Soft Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Tenderness, Tik Tok prompt, Virgin Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), gender neutral reader, reader is a bit of a player
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:20:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28950312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsemomamoru/pseuds/itsemomamoru
Summary: idea from @churchofuwus on tik tok! https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJKuss7N/ I saw this and just had to take a crack at it lmfaoIn which you're a bit of a player, sleeping around with higher ups and Levi is left wondering why he's the only one you haven't slept with or even tried to get close to yet...1/26/21 -unexpected part two? unexpected part two.
Relationships: Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/You
Series: levi x gender neutral!reader [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2134620
Comments: 24
Kudos: 208





	1. questions

Your reputation precedes you.

At least that's what your last one night stand told you.

True, you do have a reputation. You've slept with all but one of the scouts higher ups at this point, so the fact that it's taken this long for someone to tell you that is a little disappointing to be honest.

Hell, you've even been in the beds of some members of the interior police. Though, they're not all they're cracked up to be. They were all rather drunk and overall disappointing. They'd probably forgotten all about you, thank fuck.

Most of them have been one and dones, though you have a few favorites you cycle back around to.

Erwin. You'd actually been back to him a few times, mostly when he needed to blow off some steam. Just like him, his cock is _huge._ His pace is bruising, but it's a delicious sort of pain. You can barely walk back to your room once he's had his way with you.

Hanji. Their strap game is next level, accurately hitting your most sensitive spots and pulling such sinful sounds from you. But you're always able to pull some soft moans and heady breaths from the scientist's throat in return.

You don't share a connection with either one of them, you're just fuck buddies after all. You're not really looking for connection either, so it works out perfectly.

The only one you haven't bedded yet is Captain Levi.

And you know why, but you don't want to admit it to yourself.

Quite simply you've caught feelings for him, but you can't put your finger on when or why or how it happened and it's frustrating.

Is it the way he cares for and protects his comrades? His looks maybe, he's actually quite beautiful in a granite sort of way. Is it his resolve and contagious determination, or is it because he has his softer moments? You know he lets his guard down behind closed doors, he just has to. 

And you want to see it, to see _everything_. To see him like no one else does, his blissed out expressions, to hear the sounds he makes.

You shake your head to clear your thoughts, because feelings and quick fucks do _not_ go well together. And quick fucks are what you do.

He's usually so cold and staunch he'd probably never let you near him anyway, so you keep away from him for the most part.

Though he's been harder to avoid lately.

You've done nothing different, but it seems he's made himself less scarce. And you can't help but feel like he's almost seeking you out.

The other day, he personally delivered a report he needed you to sign, though he usually slips things like that under your door.

You can feel his eyes on you during drills, but when you look his way he's focused on someone else. Or talking to a cadet.

It seems everywhere you go, he's right there. You would confront him about it, but you're afraid you're just reading into it wrong. That it's just all coincidence.

But it finally reaches a tipping point at an extremely important meeting conducted by Erwin.

In which, Levi is incredibly brazen, and sits right beside you though there were plenty of other seats available. You will your face to remain impassive, head held high. You beg your cheeks to keep from heating up as you imagine his hand running along the inside of your thighs below the table. Where the hell did that thought even come from...

The heat radiating off him, mixed with his clean, woodsy scent is intoxicating, and you have to remind yourself to breathe. But by breathing, you smell even more of him and it just makes it worse.

He doesn't even seem to notice you or your struggle as he pays attention to Erwin's words.

You can't think with him next to you, and you wonder how? How is _he_ able to fluster you? No one else gets under your skin the way he does and it's incredibly irritating. 

You were so pent up by the time the meeting finally ended, you all but ran back to your room to relieve your tension. All the while, unable to shake Captain Levi from your mind.

And if you cried out his name when you came? You'd rather die before you ever admitted it.

\-----

You find yourself at the mess hall table late at night. No one to fuck tonight and it's kind of weird, you're usually in someone's guts or their in yours by now.

The overwhelming quiet is interrupted by footsteps approaching. 

_Levi_.

Is he stalking you now? True, it's not entirely uncommon for him to quietly enjoy tea here in the wee hours of the morning, but really? Exactly when you're here? There's no way it's a coincidence. Your temper flares just a bit. If he has something to ask or say, he can be a big boy about it and spit it out already.

He sits as far from you as he can, and otherwise ignores you. For a few minutes though, because he starts to throw quick glances your way as he takes sips of his tea. Well, more so glares than glances. You pretend not to notice them the first few times, but speak up after about the seventh.

"Why are you staring? _Captain._ "

He freezes at your tone, and the fact that you caught him just as he was looking your way again. He quickly recovers that irritating bravado however.

"Just wondering how someone like you has been _around_ the barracks."

His tone is condescending, biting. What the hell is he implying?

He takes another sip of his tea.

Oh, you're so going to mess with him. To try and get under his skin and chink into that armor of his. It's only fair in return for him doing the same to you.

In a matter of moments you're standing beside him, one hand on the back of his chair in a white knuckle grip as you look down at him. 

He ignores you, keeping his gaze trained ahead as he states.

"They all warned me about you, I've heard everything by now."

You absolutely will not stand for this.

You quickly grab his face and make him look you in the eyes. He swallows thickly, _oh._ You swear, for just a second his pupils dilated. Whatever you were going to say has disappeared from your mind at seeing him react like this, replaced by a new thought.

Your tone takes on a heady, sultry sound.

"Are you jealous? If you really wanted me to fuck you that badly you could've just asked."

His mouth opens slightly, as if about to say something, you can feel the muscles of his jaw moving against your hand. 

"I-"

He pauses and you can almost see the wheels turning in his head, the mental debate of how to respond to such an implication.

"I just need to figure out why you've never tried to get with me."

You nearly gasp and your eyes widen slightly, he didn't deny wanting to be fucked, and he's all but confirmed it now. A rush of heat fills your body, going straight to your center.

"Though, the closer I seem to get the harder you ignore me. Why am I the only one you haven't used?"

His voice has a hint of sadness in it, his eyes lower to stare at your lips for a brief second before returning to stare into your eyes once again. Your pride is deflated and his vulnerability nearly breaks you. He's probably one who needs laid the most, has he ever had someone to take care of him? To help relieve his tension? Someone to make his body sing?

Would you be the first?

You mull it over a moment, is there a reason you never did try? You really can't think of one besides the obvious. Other than, you like him and are afraid to fuck this up. But you're not telling him that.

You come up short over and over again. How the hell are you supposed to respond?

" _Tch_."

He shoves your hand away and moves from his seat, he starts to leave and you watch him momentarily, still wondering how to go about this whole thing. He's just made it to the doorway when "Wait!" tumbles out of your mouth.

He stops but doesn't turn around.

You make your way to him, standing right behind him, staring at his shoulders. The energy emanating from him is stifling.

"I uh. Well, I just want to know why you think I haven't tried you yet."

He scoffs and turns around, his face is incredulous, almost angry. His voice is low but loud enough to ring in your ears as he lists off his reasons.

"I don't know, that I'm too easy. That I'm not worth your time. But that doesn't really make sense considering you've slept with literally everyone besides me... Or maybe, it's because I'm an _Ackerman_."

The room is frighteningly quiet, his bitter tone echoing.

"Oh? If it is that's fine, I've had plenty of people of people treat me differently once they know about my blood so you would by no means be the first-"

"No."

He looks irritated that you cut him off.

"No what?"

"You're wrong, I've never thought _any_ of those things."

His face makes it clear he doesn't believe you. 

"I swear it's true."

"Prove it."

Before you can stop yourself, your hands grip onto his shirt, pulling him close. You press your lips to his.

" _Mmph!_ "

He's surprised at first, but he quickly starts to thaw, melting into your embrace. His hands grasp your elbows, thumbs stroking your skin. He matches your efforts, lips moving against yours just as hard.

You can taste a hint of the tea he was drinking, it's addicting, _he's_ addicting. His scent and his warmth are utterly intoxicating, completely surrounding you even more than at that damn meeting. Your mind quickly goes fuzzy as you continue to move against him.

But then it morphs, almost like a switch has been flipped somewhere deep inside him.

He starts to take control, moving slower, harder. A hand trails up to hold the back of your neck. It ignites that familiar hunger inside of you, your hands move to tangle in his hair, pulling him even closer against you. But all too soon he breaks the kiss, you both catch your breath, your lips subconsciously chase his. He softly nips at your lower lip, causing you to let out a breathy moan.

"Your room or mine?"

He practically growls the question, and your knees feel like they could give out. Thankfully they don't.

Your heart pounds, he really wants this. And if you're honest, you do too. You sense he's not looking for a quick fuck, and you haven't actually slowed it down in awhile. Do you even remember how?

What have you gotten yourself into..

As he trailed behind you, following you to your room he seemed to have a moment of clarity, the heat of the kiss worn off. He sheepishly told you that he's never been intimate before and that if you wanted to forget it it's fine. He was definitely having second thoughts and turning in on himself. 

Not allowed, you'd just gotten him to start lowering his guard, to take off his armor.

You gently assured him there's nothing wrong with that, and that you wanted this if he did.

And boy does he.

Your words seem to rebuild his confidence, because as soon as your bedroom door is shut and locked, he's kissing you again. It's messy, passionate and hot as he backs you up against your bed. You fall back against the mattress, then scoot up so you're supported by the soft pillows. 

You light the lantern on your nightstand, a gentle warm glow envelopes the room and you quickly blow out the match, the bitter smoke smell lingers a moment.

Levi makes his way up the bed, leaning over you and kissing up your neck. He licks along your jawline, then languidly blows on it, causing you to shiver. And him to smirk.

This little shit.

You both make quick work of undressing each other, limbs bumping into each other in your heated, lustful rush.

You can feel him gently admiring your body, drinking you in, your cheeks heat up under his soft and curious gaze. And you can't take your eyes off of him, he's incredibly fit, not that you're surprised. The soft lantern fire highlights his toned stomach, his strong arms, his rather thick, sturdy thighs. 

And though he only stands 5'2'' it seems his inches have gone elsewhere. Because while he by no means has the biggest dick of the men you've slept with, he's still going to be a snug fit. He's already incredibly hard, his tip blushing an angry red, precum weeping from the slit.

You simply can't wait to feel it.

He kisses his way along your collarbones, gently biting the soft skin there, your sighs are music to his ears. He quickly soothes each stinging spot with a kiss right after. He leaves more of his marks across your hips.

The warmth pooling in your stomach ignites under his steely, hungry gaze as he positions himself between your legs.

He leaves countless marks and kisses along the insides of your thighs, all while keeping his eyes trained on yours. His warm hands burn his touch into the soft skin. Your mind once again grows hazy, and he's hardly done anything yet.

But when he finally does, _oh_.

He's a very quick learner, and he's not entirely inexperienced for never having sex before. He knows just how to use his tongue, his mouth, his hands and fingers against your most sensitive spots. He knows where to touch you without him having to ask, based on the sounds you make he knows when to speed up or slow down. He works you closer and closer to your peak.

You can't help but wonder how?

But then you realize, he's probably done some sort of research or reading. The image of him bent over one of Hanji's anatomy or trashy romance books, studying and absorbing information crosses your mind. And he probably did it, anticipating your turn with him. Your heart feels like it could burst.

You also can't help but wonder if it's because he's an Ackerman. They have an instinct to protect and care for certain people. Could this somehow be an extension of those instincts? He's simply too good.

He's so eager to please, so careful, so gentle. He makes sure you're feeling good, that what he's doing is enjoyable and working. He's unlike anyone you've ever been with before, he's absolutely precious. You have to work to keep the tears at bay because otherwise you'd sob. 

He's too good to you, too good for _you._

He's so beautiful, cheeks flushed and eyes dazed as he continues to steadily guide you towards release, alternating between his mouth and hands. His brows scrunch softly in concentration. You can't help but thread your fingers in his hair, gripping softly against each warm spark of arousal that trails down into the pit of your stomach.

His hands, those gorgeous hands. That are so brutal in battle, merciless towards titans. But here, they're so delicate with you. His fingers pump and caress perfectly, steadily building the fire inside of you. It quickly grows heavy, begging for release. When he adds his mouth in addition, it's over for you.

You cry out his name on a broken moan as you succumb to bliss, panting softly. His hands hold your hips, rubbing them slightly in a soothing way as your legs tremble. He moves up to press the gentlest of kisses across your navel, whispering sweet nothings into your skin about how pretty you look, how good you are.

When your breathing returns to normal, he's above you again. Softly kissing you. This time, in addition to the now barely there tea, you taste _you._ Your arousal and cum. Sure you've tasted it before, but something about tasting it from his lips is incredibly damning and enough to rile you up again.

You trail a hand down his chest, and finally wrap your fingers around his aching cock. He whines against your mouth.

"Here, let me return the favor."

"No!"

It comes out a little louder and more hasty than you're sure he meant for it to. Your face contorts in confusion.

"Sorry, I just."

He takes a steadying breath.

"I want to be inside you."

A soft gasp trembles through you at his words, his sincerity is scalding. How is he able to tear down your walls, to lay you so impossibly bare before him. 

"Ok."

Your mouth waters as you watch him line himself up with you. You both groan softly at the feeling of his tip pressing in, his eyes fluttering shut. He continues to push in, slowly, evenly allowing enough time between for both of you to adjust fully.

Just as you'd thought, he's stretching and filling you so well. When he bottoms out he moans, _loud._ And oh, do you love the sound of it. He's already by far your most vocal partner and something about it gets you even more turned on.

"You feel so w-warm, so good."

He's coming undone fast, and he hasn't even moved yet. Feeling him throbbing (no doubt painfully) inside you is amazing. The pride of being able to get the Captain, humanity's strongest soldier this turned on is unbeatable. 

He finally moves, giving the both of you a testing thrust. You moan out, while whatever sound he tried to make got caught in his throat. His eyes widening at the feeling of moving inside you, feeling you around him.

His thrusts are deep and hard, not necessarily fast like you're used to. But it's certainly working, he consistently hits that spot deep inside of you, steadily working you up again. You feel his pulse deep within you, it resonates throughout your whole body, mixing with your own pounding heart.

Your legs lock around the back of his thighs, pulling him impossibly closer. Your arms wrap around him, nails digging in slightly as you get closer. He continues to steadily rock in and out of you, keeping a delicious steady rhythm.

That fire is growing heavy once again with the familiar need to release. But it's so much sooner this time.

"Levi, I'm gonna-"

You can't finish your sentence as your body seizes up, before tumbling over that edge, mind unable to focus on anything besides the white hot pleasure coursing through you. You don't think you've ever reached a high that fast before, it's practically ripped out of you.

He's really good.

Your thighs shake again, your arms hold onto him tighter against the mind numbing pleasure rushing through your veins. Your eyes flutter shut as you continue to bask in everything.

His thrusts somehow help to prolong your high. Feeling his now rigid cock rubbing against your sensitive insides, in addition to the warmth of your orgasm is almost too much. You can barely think, but it feels too good to ask him to stop.

You can feel him softly watching your reactions, the way your body moves and reacts to him as you start to come back down. He can feel it too, and by the sound of it, he's close to his own orgasm. 

He's desperately chasing release, incoherent mumblings and pitiful moans escaping him. But he shows such restraint, he seems to know you're still sensitive from having cum twice, so his thrusts are still slow, even and achingly deep. Though you know he wants so badly to pound into you, his fingers hold the sheets in a white knuckle grip in an attempt to ground himself. 

Your breathing starts to even out, and you're able to open your eyes. And just in time too. 

His hips falter, rhythm quickly going sloppy as he cries out. He pulls out at the last second, hissing softly at the loss of your warmth, his hot sticky release coats your stomach. 

You feel so empty without him inside, and you kind of wish he'd stayed. But it must've been too much for him, he's no doubt sensitive, and he may be entirely overstimulated since it's his first. 

He falls apart, and he's absolutely beautiful. His face softens, mouth hanging open, soft pants escaping. His eyes squeeze shut, but his eyebrows lift a little, he's lost in his ecstasy. His arms are shaking with the effort not to collapse on top of you as his dick jumps. He groans softly each time his stomach convulses, his head lowers slightly as he starts to come down. His breathing starts to even out.

You move a hand up along his back, fingers caressing his spine and shoulder blades. He looks positively wrecked. His usually perfectly styled hair is mussed, some strands sticking to his sweaty forehead. His face and even ears are incredibly red, the flush covers his neck and shoulders too. 

Overall, a very stark, but not unwelcome contrast to his usual cold and hard demeanor.

He seems to for lack of better words "snap out of it" pretty quickly. He moves away from you, picking up his shirt from the floor. He uses it to gently wipe your stomach clean of his cum, mumbling a soft _sorry_. The tenderness of his action is almost too much, and you gently assure him there's nothing to be sorry for.

He doesn't talk, but his eyes speak so loudly. Because his gaze finds yours for the millionth time tonight, but it's different now. It's guarded again, hesitant.

Your heart plummets.

Has he already reverted back to _Captain_ Levi? You loved seeing him as just Levi, the thought of him building his walls back up that fast hurts.

Is he, is he thinking of leaving? You watch him sit at the very edge of your bed, bending to retrieve the rest of his clothes, he starts to put his pants back on. 

No...

You move to kneel beside him, your thighs still rather weak. You place a gentle hand on his shoulder, he tenses slightly, but stops.

"Stay? _Please_."

"Are you su-"

You don't let him finish, gently turning his face towards your own and kissing him. He melts into you again. The pants he was just holding fall to the ground. His hands now barely rest against your hips, softly trembling. He's so reserved and hesitant now as compared to how he was just moments ago, it makes your heart ache. You break the kiss to press one to his forehead.

He was incredibly vulnerable and bare, probably the most he's ever been. It's not going to be good for him to retreat to his room, alone with his thoughts. He's going to overthink everything.

And you'd do the same.

But if he stays here with you, neither of you will be alone, for the first time in who knows how long. 

"Please, I don't want you to go."

He breathes out, it sounds like relief and maybe astonishment. You tear up just a little at hearing it, is he really that surprised that you want him to stay? His eyes are softer, overall his face bears a hint of happiness?

It's so raw, so genuine. So achingly human.

You both settle beside each other under the sheets. The lantern has just gone out, the gentle moonlight instead the only light source in the room. It suddenly feels cold. He must feel it too because he speaks up.

"Can I hold you?"

It's nothing more than a whisper. He's so timid, again you wonder how this Levi is the same one who practically _begged_ to be inside you. Your cheeks heat up at the memory.

"Yeah."

You open your arms signaling for him to let you hold him in return. His arms gingerly wrap around you. He treats you as if you're made of glass, as if he's afraid you'll fly away or run off if he gets too close. And maybe you would have, if not for the fact that he's the one you're with right now.

He tucks his head against your shoulder. You wrap your arms around him, holding him firmly. He seems to get the hint, his arms finally tightening just a little around you. He relaxes against you, sighing softly in contentment. You both melt into each other's warmth.

His scent is so comforting. Earlier it was so clean, fresh and overall well put together. It still is, but in addition he now smells strongly of sweat and arousal. That's where you find yourself smiling softly at the irony, because this renown clean freak just got down and so, so dirty.

Your thoughts change as you realize, this is the first time _you've_ stayed with someone after, as opposed to slipping back into your clothes and quietly leaving. Just as he'd tried to do. It's uncharted territory for sure, but it doesn't feel bad or entirely awkward lying here beside him, both of you still naked and vulnerable.

You know this is all so new to him too, he seems ok, but he's surely and understandably a little overwhelmed. It being his very first time after all. 

"I don't know what kind of thoughts are running through your pretty head right now, but you did amazing Levi."

He pulls back enough to look at you, his expression is questioning. He searches your eyes for any contradictions to your statement. He finds none and his eyes sparkle softly in the moonlight, you can see his cheeks grow red again. A small, bashful smile appears on his face and you have to keep from gasping, afraid you'd chase it away. You've never seen him smile before, you'd do anything to see it again, anything to see it often.

He brings a hand up to cover his face, an embarrassed, whiney groan leaving him. You move your own hand, gently pulling his away. You thread your fingers through his, bringing his hand to your lips, pressing kisses across his knuckles while staring into his eyes. He takes a shuddering breath as he watches your tender actions.

Once you're satisfied with the amount of kisses you've left, you move your joined hands to rest between the both of you. He strokes his thumb across your skin, his fingers squeeze your hand softly. You can't help but notice how right it feels to hold him, how perfect your hands fit together.

He falls asleep in no time, soft snores escaping his slightly open mouth. His face looks so peaceful and soft, adorable even. You've heard he's an insomniac, only managing about three hours when he does sleep. And to think, all he needed was a good fuck to help him rest. You'd gladly do it again.

As you start to drift off you ask yourself your millionth question of the day. What are the two of you now? Fuck buddies? Dare you say, lovers? You can't deny this felt different than any other time..

You're not sure, but the two of you can figure it out in the morning. For right now, you press a kiss as soft as a butterfly to his temple before closing your eyes and surrendering to dreams.


	2. answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't planning on adding more, but this came to me and I just ran with it 🥵 I think it brings everything full circle and wraps it up pretty nicely if I do say so myself💅

Levi can't believe you'd be this brazen in a meeting. 

Sure he himself made the mistake of sitting beside you, but he just can't stay away. Ever since that first night the two of you shared a few months ago he's been utterly insatiable, years of built up self denial surfacing, aching to finally be released.

But you've also been extremely ravenous, seemingly unable to satisfy that carnal hunger of yours.

Because your hand is fondling his thigh beneath the table and fuck is it hard for him to concentrate on anything besides it. 

You're staring ahead, deceptively paying attention to the reports, while your fingers slowly trail from his knee to just in front of his quickly hardening cock. But never touching it, at least not yet. He's silently hoping you aren't brave enough to stroke or palm at him, not here. He wouldn't be able to keep what little composure he has if you do.

Hanji mentions something about titans, he knows that much based on their rough drawing on the chalkboard. But he can't process a single word they're saying.

The blood rushing in his ears is too loud. His cheeks are quickly growing uncomfortably red, and it seems the harder he tries to will them not too, the faster they heat up. It's now spreading to the tips of his ears. His clothes are beginning to stick uncomfortably to him.

You give a particularly hard squeeze to his thigh, and it's not enough apparently because you do it a few more times in nearly a massaging motion.

He's not going to make it through this mee-

" _Ah!"_

His hand flies up to cover his face, mortification flowing through him at making such a pitiful, _unmistakable_ sound in front of everyone.

Fuck you.

Your hand now covering his painfully hard dick, is causing the fabric of his pants to pull even tighter against him in addition to your grip. That's what caused him to cry out like that. His mind is spinning but he still manages to catch Hanji calling out his name.

He peeks through his fingers, Hanji is trying their best not to smirk. And he realizes that they must know what you're doing, them having slept with you and all.

"Captain you look like you're about to pass out, you should go get some rest and some _water._ "

He swears their eyes glinted for a second.

Your hand moves away from him, and he nearly whimpers at the loss of your touch, but he's just barely able to catch it. Ugh, he can feel every single higher up staring at him. Maybe he would've gotten away with it, but the fact that they all no doubt know what's going on because they've all had their own turns in his spot, makes it impossible.

"Sorry for the interruption Hanji, I'll go with him and make sure he doesn't end up in a ditch somewhere."

Your voice is too sweet and innocent for the way you've been servicing him beneath the table.

"Fine, you're both dismissed."

He sighs wearily as he stands, and thankfully his legs don't give out beneath him. You slip an arm around his shoulders as you walk beside him out into the hallway, you close the door behind you.

"What the fuck was that?"

His incredulous, flustered voice echoes through the empty hall.

"Oh come on, that was boring as hell."

"Maybe, but it was also _important_ as hell. Why did you decide on now of all times?"

A wicked smirk appears on your face, the heat building in his stomach ignites at seeing it.

"Payback for the last meeting, I was so pent up after sitting beside you and inhaling your scent that I had to take care of myself after."

His dick twitches in his pants, that meeting feels like forever ago, but it's only been about four months. He'd thought you'd seemed a little off that day, but wouldn't have guessed that it was because of him. And the fact that _he_ got you so worked up you had to do something about it makes his pride flare.

"Oh is that so..."

He grabs your hand and places it against his now raging boner, he refuses to moan out. He takes on a deep, teasing tone.

"Well, guess who's 'pent up' this time. and guess who's going to help him take care of it, hm?"

You press your lips to his, but don't fully kiss him. You mumble " _l_ _ucky me_ " against his mouth as you gently squeeze his dick.

He groans and you finally kiss him, swallowing the sound. 

You break away and take off towards his room, already knowing the way, and if he could he would sprint after you. But he takes it slow, simply because he has to. With every step his poor cock is rubbed by his pants, getting him more and more stimulated.

You've long since disappeared from eyesight, and he's sure you'll be waiting naked for him, laughing at the almost waddle he's doing.

He thought correctly, as he opens the door of his bedroom to reveal your body bare and ready for him. He quickly shuts and locks the door. He takes a second to rest his back against it and breathe, ignoring your stifled giggles.

Brat.

You're the one who's got him this frustrated, you have absolutely no right to be so giddy. His cock is positively rigid at this point, it's so fucking painful, precum weeping from his burning tip and no doubt leaking through his pants. How he's able to think is beyond him. 

He's certainly not laughing.

He quickly strips off everything as he makes his way over to you on his bed, eyes pinned on yours. You seem to sober up under his steely gaze, he leans over you, caging you with his arms. 

He kisses you roughly as he trails a hand down to quickly work you up for him, he'd never think about thrusting into you without some amount of foreplay, but it's going to be fast this time. He's going to go absolutely feral if he doesn't tend to his aching boner soon.

He savors every sound you make as his fingers hook, caress and thrust. He feels like a madman as he expertly (and thankfully quickly) gets you right there then stops, you whine at the loss of stimulation. He almost feels bad for you, _almost._

He leans back, and pushes your legs further apart. He lines himself up, brushing his tip against you. His eyes flick to yours, asking permission. You nod and he doesn't waste a second, pressing into you slowly and evenly. He already feels just a bit of relief at finally being inside you, your warmth surrounding his sensitive dick as he continues to push in. Though, you're still slightly tense from your denied orgasm, he loves it.

He whimpers once he's bottomed out. 

You clamp down around him on purpose, and he nearly screams, directing a glare your way. He breathes deeply to steady himself as he places his elbows on either side of your head, lowering himself down but not resting fully on top of you. He forgoes his normal testing thrust in favor of just going straight into his rhythm, deep and hard. He trusts that if it gets to be too much, you'll let him know.

He seems to be hitting you just right each time he moves, your blissed out expressions and soft sounds confirmation enough. Your hands latch onto his biceps and your legs wrap tightly around him, he loves the feeling of your thighs pressing against him. 

He bites back a smirk as a thought crosses his mind, he's so going to mess with you. His voice takes on a low, sultry, heady tone.

"I need an answer to this question that's been bugging me since you brought the topic up."

Your face reflects your confusion, but is quickly replaced with another sinful expression as he plunges in again.

"That day I unintentionally worked you up, and you relieved yourself-"

He pauses.

"Did you moan my name?"

He can see your hesitation to answer, but that's ok, he's got plenty of patience as he continues to push in and out of you. He can feel you getting close already, the way you're starting to tense up around his cock. This is very much turning into a bit of a quickie, he himself is not going to last much longer.

"Yes."

Your voice is quiet, he likes this confession.

"Ohh.."

He moves to kiss along your jawline, then whispers in your ear, savoring your shudder as his warm breath caresses your sensitive skin.

"How about you do it again, I wasn't there to hear it."

A sound, suspiciously like a squeak escapes you. You swallow hard, but your voice still shakes and you seem, nervous?

No, it's embarrassment he sees. 

"Y-you've heard me moan it before."

"True but I want to, _no_. I need to hear you do it like you did that day."

A soft gasp escapes you, part from his request and part your body tensing fully in that familiar sign that you're right there. He keeps steadily thrusting into you, and you finally fall.

" _Oh, Levi!"_

It's beautiful, if that really is how you sounded that one time, it's a pity he didn't get to hear it firsthand. It sounds so pitiful, so desperate. But at the same time, relieved. It goes straight to his core, his pride once more flairs at the fact that he's able to get you so flustered. That he's able to make you feel so good, to override your body and make it relax instantaneously.

He's starting to really lose it now, your body squeezing around his cock perfectly. Your hands digging into his back, pulling him impossibly closer. The incoherent mumblings and moans about how good it feels, how good he is.

He slips an arm behind you, hand splayed across your lower back, supporting you as he raises you up just enough for him to go deeper. You both cry out at the new spots he's hitting.

He grabs the headboard with his other hand, fingers in a white knuckle grip to keep from absolutely pounding into you. Because while he would love to punish you for embarrassing him in front of everyone, he just can't bring himself to bruise your soft, tender insides like that. 

No, he can make you deep clean something that doesn't really need it instead, that's punishment enough in his book.

His eyes flutter then squeeze shut as that familiar, floating sensation starts to take over. He pants as his legs tremble, his hips stop moving and his cock jumps inside of you, he nearly chokes when he hears the moan you let out at feeling his release spilling into you. He's glad he's supporting himself with the headboard, otherwise he'd collapse right on top of you.

He can feel your aftershocks, small spasms and flutters milking him just enough. His ears ring, and he could cry it feels so good. That addicting white hot pleasure and warmth coursing through him, melting him. He takes a deep breath, further surrendering to the all encompassing bliss.

You start to caress his back, just like you always do. It's one of his favorite parts, it's so pure, so simple yet it makes his heart speed up every time.

He's recovered enough to release the headboard, his fingers tingle from gripping it so tightly. He places his hand against your face, softly brushing against your cheek. Your eyes are always so beautiful to him post orgasm, they're so clear, your gaze soft. Not that they're not always beautiful, they're just a different kind after passionate moments like these.

He presses a kiss to your forehead, lingering a moment. Then he pulls out of you, he whines at the loss of your heat and you whimper at the emptiness he leaves behind. It makes him ache, how he wishes you could just stay that close together forever.

He lies down beside you, gently pulling you into his arms. You return his embrace, arms wrapping around his waist, squeezing gently. After a few moments, he speaks up softly.

"Sorry, I'll clean you up in a minute, I-"

His eyes start to burn with tears, he quickly tucks his head in the crook of your neck so you don't see them. He presses his lips to your collarbone, savoring your gentle and comforting scent. His voice is quiet, and unsteady when he continues.

"I just want to hold you a little bit longer."

Because it's all he can do.

You'd both decided not to put a label on whatever the two of you are, other than fuck buddies with an undeniable connection. You still occasionally go back to a few of your other fucks, and he's fine with it because otherwise you'd technically be in a relationship with him. 

And that he just can't allow.

Because if he's quite honest, he really does love you. He's absolutely entranced with and smitten by you, his whole body and soul are yours. You're the only one he's ever been weak for, the only one he'll ever be able to crumble completely in front of. 

But he'll never tell you, he simply can't say it, not out loud at least. Because anyone he's ever expressed his love or adoration for has died. Has left him, and if you were taken from him, he'd have no fight left. If he said those three words, he'd curse you to a short life, to a gruesome and painful death.

No one loved by Levi Ackerman survives.

So, instead he continues to use his body and his touch to tell you. Because if he doesn't ever say it aloud, you'll stay safe, you've just got to. He desperately hopes it's enough to convey his deep feelings, and judging by the way you keep coming back to him, he thinks it is. 

And that's enough for him. Sure it hurts him to hold back, but if it keeps you alive and by his side, he'll keep doing it. 

A few tears slip down his face as he gets further lost in his thoughts. You must feel them, because your hand starts to rub soothing circles into the small of his back. You place a few soft kisses to his neck, he chokes back a sob as he holds you just a little tighter.

He's not sure what you'd want if the world wasn't such a hellhole, but he sure knows what he wants. He wants it all with you, he wants to marry you, to have you by his side every day. He wants to wake up beside you and fall asleep in your arms every night, instead of just the times you have sex. And when you do have sex, he wants to hold your hand tight enough that you can feel his wedding ring pressing into your skin. He wants to see your clothes hanging in his closet, to see your belongings and treasures mixed in with his.

He wants all of your bad days, and every single good one. He wants to support and comfort you, to uplift and cheer you on first hand instead of from a distance. 

And if the world was a safer, kinder place maybe he could have that. 

But it isn't and he can't, and he'll continue to sacrifice everything he wants to keep what he has. He can't allow himself to be greedy or ungrateful.

He's heard that love _is_ sacrificial, love is selfless, forgetting one's self and their own desires to care for and take care of their beloved.

And much to his surprise, in his own way, this might be the only thing in his life he's ever gotten right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that word count looking mad sexy 🥂

**Author's Note:**

> obligatory reminder to always pee after sex!!  
> writing a scene ruins the vibe and when im writing i have the power to imagine UTIs don't exist lmfao
> 
> i promise i'm still working on "homecoming" my sequel to "let's find the good in goodbye" lol. i'm almost done and this time i'm having a friend beta read it since it's so long 😅
> 
> also everybody say thank you MAPPA🙏 they've done Levi so good asdfghjkl
> 
> as always, kudos, comments or feedback is very much appreciated!! love y'all ❤️
> 
> and if you happen to really like my stuff and don't mind, consider buying me a ko-fi 💕 https://ko-fi.com/mads0674


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